Humors of the week 1/21/111

Humors of the Week

1) Teaching ministry: A pastor told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.” The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, “Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.”

2) God’s Chosen People absent in China? Two Jews Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. “Sid,” asked Al, “Are there any Jews in China?” “I don’t know,” Sid replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?” When the waiter came by, Al said, “Do you have any Chinese Jews?” “I don’t know sir, let me ask,” the waiter replied and he went into the kitchen. He quickly returned and said, “No, sir. No Chinese Juice.” “Are you sure?” Al asked. “I will check with our manager, sir.” the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen. While he was still gone, Sid said, “I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere.” When the waiter returned he said, “Sir, no Chinese Juice.” “Are you really sure?” Al asked again. “I cannot believe you have no Chinese Jews.” “Sir, I asked everyone,” the waiter replied exasperated. “We have orange juice, prune juice, tomato juice and grape juice, but no one ever heard of Chinese juice!”

3) Virus alert to everyone:

Be on the alert for symptoms of inner HOPE, PEACE, JOY AND LOVE. The hearts of a great many have already been exposed to this virus and it is possible that people everywhere could come down with it in epidemic proportions. This could pose a serious threat to what has, up to now, been a fairly stable condition of conflict in the world.

Some signs and symptoms of the Virus:

* A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences.
* An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
* A loss of interest in judging other people.
* A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
* A loss of interest in conflict.
* A loss of the ability to worry. (This is a very serious symptom.)
* Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
* Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.
* Frequent attacks of smiling.
* An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.
* An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

Please send this warning out to all your friends. This virus can and has affected many systems. Some systems have been completely cleaned out because of it.

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